Somebody gonna get a hurt real bad…

Coming to Conclusions

It usually happens in an idle moment, a random question or happening triggers a new possibility. A second of realization: Is it possible for you to have a crush on The King? This very moment will be followed by lots of tribulations. As you posse all necessary reasons of why you can’t possibly have a crush on him, you slowly start accepting the fact that it may be as well true until you eventually reach the point in which you can no longer deny it: You like him.

As I confessed to my favorite Greek friend my most recent crush on someone we both know I did it cautiously. I thought she would never guess who it was as I had astonished myself with my recent conclusions: I have a crush on a dude that breaks an excessive number of rules, checklist points, etc. I even have enough information about him coming from other acquaintances (girls), I should be running for my life, but there is something about this dude that it is almost hypnotizing. Is it the way he talks? Point being, my Greek friend guessed on the first guess. I was more than surprised. How could she tell? Was I that obvious? As I asked all these questions, my Greek friend she had just seen it. I became even more intrigued. It always happens; my friends know when I like someone before I do. They even know he liked me in the first place, but they rarely said anything until we are either together or I am disappointed.

Gathering Information

So you confirm your crush on someone you go into the phase of information gathering. You Google him, look at all possible angles of his profile on Facebook, Bebo, LinkedIn… you try to have all possible casual and subtle conversations you can have about him to get more information trying not to be very obvious, although let’s be honest, you have already suspicions of having been too obvious anyways, otherwise your friends wouldn’t know. I think in this new particular case of mine, this phase has been amplified because of the danger the specimen in question brings.

The careful observation of the most insignificant movement of this human being is becoming a sport. And I even start imagining what I would expect from my connection to this dude: Fun. I am fully aware that having absolutely any feeling for this man could be lethal. Please remind me of this very line if I end up hurt. Just to remember I was stupid because I didn’t run in the opposite direction, but I tried to put myself in the rational yet impossible situation of having a close connection with someone I am attracted to without having any emotional investment in it.

Thesis: Suspected Madness

And then just as you realize maybe you want to go for it (in my case because I am possibly losing my mind and I haven’t got any in a decent amount of time) you think: Wait, what if I am imagining everything and he doesn’t like me? So you start checking all texts you have ever received, E-mails, every recent conversation and still you don’t know – Maybe I’m going mad. – Is this what we call the best part of a relationship? All the incredible amount of anxiety we put ourselves under before we reach either a new relationship or heartbreak and disappointment? Yes. I think it is quite a lot of fun.

In this case: Runaway

But despite all the lack of any sex or decently smart men around me, I have decided I will try the running the opposite direction from this one. He is not particularly good looking, but he is borderline genius, I have the feeling he has done it all and the way he engages people into conversations is pretty amazing. So why to run the opposite direction? He has a name… men with a name and secrets are not good news. Some of his actions are not so secret anymore due repetition of asshole-ness. In other words, I have guaranteed to end up in pain and sorrow. It is like that Russel Peters joke:

Russel! Someone is gonna get a hurt real bad!- his dad said, and then he looked around every where hoping there would be another one of his siblings to get it on their bums, but there was no one else, he was going to be the one getting a hurt real bad. With this dude that is the case… someone is gonna get a hurt real bad… somebody… and I think I know her very well.

(If you want to understand this very interesting joke in the last few lines, watch the following link, specially from minute… 4.5 http://youtube.com/watch?v=fK4wz7YzF3Y )